Fancy a laugh?  You're in luck- I've dug out some of my old diaries...

Being the ostentatious little girl that I was, I fancied myself to be quite the writer. Looking back now, I'd say that's probably debatable.  Fair play to me, I did have the imagination to work with, but this seems to have been almost entirely dedicated to the upkeep of an exercise book full of imaginary friends (my personal favourite being an alien-type creature called Oap- and no, he was not over the age of 65).  When I wasn't planning the births/ deaths/ marriages of these 'friends', I was writing; poems, diaries, stories etc.  Some particular highlights seem to come from the entries I wrote in 2008, during my family's annual walking holiday in the Lake District.  As well as a writer, I must have fancied myself to be a comedian too, as 2004 (the year I wrote my first Lake District journal) sees me finding my comedic feet, but by 2008 I've really got my style down to a tee (in other words, I read the Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging books and used them as my bible).

Get ready for some real comic genius... 

"Monday 31st March 2008- We woke up at the crack of dawn (actually 6.35). Had some Frosties as a breakfast treat. Oo-er! I had had a dream about Vicky getting back from Florida with only a tanned nose and her whole family were ill. Because there was something wrong with the sand or something. Anyway, moving swiftly on. 

We had a cooked breakfast at The Little Chef and carried on driving. We knew we were in the Lake District because of the sheep. Not. After about 55 billion hours of non-stop deafening myself with music (well actually 5) we were nearly there. Then we thought Vati had farted but it turned out to be something else. Perhaps a sheep, who had eaten beans for brekkie. 

Anyway.... When we arrived at Aero Force Falls (well it was actually called Aira Force Falls for some stupid reason. It should be called Aero because then there would hopefully be a law that all people had to eat Aero bars). We got into our walking boots. Yey. How very flattering. Not. 

We walked up past 3 big elephants always use talc in forests under leaves waterfalls. It was vair hot and my trousers were very thick and sad. I sorted out my t-shirt so everyone could see my flat (not) stomach and dipped my tootsies in the water. Woop-de-doop. 

We eventually got to Duckray which was, if you like, the top of the circular walk. Then we walked all the way back on the other side of the waterfalls. I worked out how to zoom on mutti's camera phone (they forgot to pack the decent ones, honestly). It was simple technology. Press the arrow labelled zoom. No it wasn't labelled zoom, but hey. 

When we got back to the car, after 2 hours, we had some snacklets, lunch, and drove to Keswick. The parents were on the hunt for new boots for me because my toes were getting squished but I said it was fine. Really, it was. We had scrummy-yummy ice cream and went shopping in Booths. Fun fun. 

We then drove to our youth hostel. Called Barrow House, aka Derwent Water Youth Hostel. Did some fun stuff and me and my brother (betta pick a pocket or two! How random) went round the back (that reminded me of Jesus' Christmas Party when the inkeeper goes 'Round the back!') to the waterfall. We got stuck on one side of the river but ho-hum-mum's-bum. 

For tea I had bolognaise, chips and peas. As you can see I am vair vair healthy. For dessert (not desert) I had ginger cake with custard. C'est tres bon. 

Now I'm in room 9. Yey. Dad is lying in his boxers (I think I am going to call the police, I mean it must be against the law) and the other two are in bed as well. 

I will never sleep again, I am not tired zzzzzzzzzz." 

Don't be too hard on me, I was a 12 year-old who had lead a very sheltered life. I hope that this first entry provided you with some light entertainment! The next instalment is to follow in the next few days! 

Harriet x