Here is the final (boo) installment of my diary.  I hope it provides you with some light entertainment/ assurance that there is someone stranger than you out there! (Apparently I wanted to express my artistic skills as well as my comedic/writing talents (!) in this entry, so I've included photos of these drawings, purely for your pleasure)

"Friday 4th April 2008- Today we went home. I am glad but sad. Ha ha...no. I'm glad because I'm going to the park to play rugby with the boys tomorrow! And I'm sad because I love it here. I think I'm going to cry. NOT. 

We had some breakfast (coco pops), did the washing up (yey) and went and packed our bags (fun fun). 

Can I just do something? Yes I will. Logo for Miss C in Tescos:

Sorry that was just an idea. How weird. Also, how do you spell wierd/weird???? That's one of my many questions in life. 

Anyway... 

Me and my brother went 'ROUND THE BACK' (haha) again. 

Then we played pool. He won, just. That's what I like to think. 

We then drove all the way to Windermere. Yey! 

Mum went to Lakeland and me, my brother and vatti went round a few shops and then went to The Lighthouse, like we always do. I love it. I had apple pie as usual. They have changed the pie but I don't care, it was just as yummy! 

We met mum, she had bought us liquorice (yum!) and we got in the car. General announcement: 

I CAN NOW OFFICIALLY READ WHEN WE ARE DRIVING! 

Wooooooooo! I just read Mizz and the Beano and listened to my iPod. Interesting. 

Later we got to our Aunty's house and they made us a meal of pasta chicken bake or something. It was really good. Had lemon sorbet for puds. Cool- literally. 

My Aunty and Uncle gave us some sweet but I couldn't eat any because I'm on a di- scoff. Ok, I'll just have a few then. 

When we got home it was about 11.30 I think. So I wrote an email to Vicky who is still in Florida and went to bed. Zzzzzzzz. 

P.S. Cool holiday- lovin the Youth Hostel. 

P.P.S. I got some message magnets for my friends and put them in bag (the magnets, not my friends).

In case you've forgotten what this is all about, here is the third diary entry from my holiday to the Lake District. I would like to remind you that I was twelve...TWELVE, okay?

"Wednesday 2nd April 2008- Woke up again. Had some coco-pops, toast and a kiwi fruit for brekki. (My brother has made a friend called Ben by the way) (He thought his name was Bernard!) Anyway. 

Then we set off merrily (er...no) to a quarry near a little place called Rigg Beck. How delightfully charming. We parked our car and started walking along next to a river. After a while we crossed the river. (For me and my brother that basically meant throwing ourselves onto the grass on the other side). Ho hum pigs bum. Then the path got steeper until we were walking along the ridge. It was really tiring. Next we got to the peak of Aikin Knott (1500ft). Quite steep (so vatti says). We then continued soggily along the ridge to Ard Crags (1905ft). It was raining you see. Only spitting though. Then we walked for another mile and got to Knott Rigg (1823ft). All that time we were walking along a ridge where we could see far down into both valleys. Eeek. 

At Knott Rigg we stopped for lunch. Then Dad and Josh had a fight and tried to push each other into sheep poo. Clearly I had to join in and rescue......the poo. 

Next, we walked round on the other mountain ridges on the other side of the valley. It's quite hard to explain. Oh well. I know what I'm on about. It was really vair vair fun because there was loads of bracken and me and my brother kept diving in it and walking in deep paths. 

On the way down vatti fell over and we found out that he has really bad bum reflexes. 

When we got down to the farm we had to walk on road and then through bogs and stuff. It was quite fun actually. We finally got back to the purple house, which was the landmark for the car. Also we saw some lambs. 

The walk took 5 hours. Woop de doop. 

We drove to Keswick. Unfortunately. I had a really nice custard cake in a tea room. Yum. I think it was called Bysons or something. Next we went to a old-fashioned sweet shop. Clearly we bought sweets. 

To my delight (ha ha) we went INTO Booths. Ahhhhhh. I bought my tea. 

When we got we did stuff like pool. Then we had tea. I had tomato soup and bread and beans and yoghurt. Yey. Dad cooked it. 

Played cards and pool. 

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. 

P.S. It was the best walk I can remember."

I must have been pretty tired after that walk because that was a fairly half-hearted attempt at being funny.  Not to worry, I was back on form the next day...

"Thursday 3rd April 2008- Woke to the sound of an elderly warthog flirting with a frog. Oh, no that would be my brother. 

Had some toast and fruit for breakfast. 

After we had packed our rucksacks we set off in our car and parked in Seatoller. We got into our flattering walking stuff. A tiny bus came and drove us up about 1000ft. Clearly this is not cheating. The bus ride was quite scary actually because the road was vair vair steep and the bus kept on stopping. Eeeeeeeek. 

When the bus dropped us off we couldn't see anything. It was sooo misty. We were in a cloud. Woop de doop. 

We started walking up a hill. Then another hill appeared out of the mist and that just carried on happening all the way up. It was really boring until me and my brother started rock climbing. OK, the rocks were vair small but vair vair fun. Tee hee. We also ate sweets that we bought yesterday. Yum. 

We were looking for a path that we would be turning down because when we got to that we had 500ft left (according to Wainwright) (Lol). But suddenly out of the mist we saw a man standing next to a cairn. We were at the top of Dale Head (2400ft)! Yey. Also, my theory was true. We saw loads of people at the top but none on the way up. Ureaka! Er...no. We also saw snow at the top. 

The way down was way funner (is a word!) because it was easier and rockier. There was quite a lot of snow around. But we couldn't go near it because we could have fallen off the mountain. Fun fun. 

We stopped for a nourishing snack (lunch) at a place where we could see Dale Head Tarn. Woo hoo. 

When we set off again we got lost but then we found the quarry we were supposed to be at. We realised it was the same one we had gone down 2 or 3 years ago when we climbed High Spy. Yey. We walked down it writing 2008 all over the slate. Aren't we rebels. Not. 

Then, when we got to the bottom of the quarry, we saw a 'u' shape in the hills that we had to get to. At that point me and my brother decided to jog al the way down to the car. It was vair fun. We had to wait at a field full of sheep poo so we jogged round it. Josh ran towards a sheep and its legs has a spasm attack. Ha ha!!! 

When M + D finally caught up with us me and Josh decided to go a quicker way. We could see the car park so we just ran towards it. Lol!! Mutti and Vatti went all the way round. Ha ha shame. We were there about 10 mins before them. Yey. The walk was about 4 hours I think. 

We drove back to the Youth Hostel and I read (I'm not a nerd by the way) until tea which was spaghetti and meatballs. Dad cooked it (oo-er). It was yum. 

Then, we all left everything on the table and walked down to the lake. It was a-m-a-z-i-n-g!! Really. We played around for ages. 

In the youth hostel front gardens we all played blockie 123. It was getting dark. Wooooo. It was soo vair vair funny when mum fell out a bush. Haha! 

On the last round Josh was on and we saw a man walking up the drive. He was walking in a weird way but he looked like dad. It was sooo weird. We couldn't decide whether it was dad or not. Then he started running towards us and (unfortunately!) we saw it was darling vatti. 

Happy Families! 

We had to do washing up then. Boo. 

Dad + Josh played pool. Me + Mum played pool. Me, Josh + Zak, Scott played pool. Zak and Scott won. Noooo! We set it up for them. Honest. 

It was quite late. 

So we had a few rounds of the sock game and 

zzzzz 

P.S. Mum's camera phone went crazy + went upside down. But ho hum mum's bum."

Well, if you're still reading this, congratulations! Only one day left of the holiday (thankfully), which I will post at some point in the near future! 

I'm sure you're all dying to read the second diary entry from my 12 year-old self! (Joke). But here goes anyway...

"Tuesday 1st April 2008- I am in the mood for camping with my mates and then meeting up with some fit boys. Anyway... 

This morning I woke up at the crack of 8.30am. My brother had been making his bed for about 3 hours but he is like that so no worries. Had some porridge. Yey. 

At 10.30 we drove to Thornthwaite and parked near the Swan Hotel. Then we saw a snowman on the mountain. It turned out to be the Bishop of Barf. So that means he (er...it) is the Bishop of Sick. Lovely. He might as well have been as it looked like a white frog.

It was quite cold. Wow, I should become a weather person. And we started climbing really steeply up a really steep path. It was really fun. We were basically walking up a stream. Then we met a lady who acted as if this mountain was just like a morning stroll. She said there was 1 rock that was like a step. Er, no. It wasn't. It was like climbing a rock face. Well it was climbing a rock face. But it was so fun. Anyway, the lady was going a shorter way to us so pah ha. 

We carried on walking up paths, through forests and stuff until we could basically see the summit of 'Barf' (oo-er). It was 1500ft and very windy at the top. We had Kendel Mint Cake to keep up our energy though. Woop de doop. You people should take me seriously you know. Anyway..."

(I must have somehow known that I would one day be posting this on a blog for all 'you people' to read)

 "We then walked along the ridge and got to the 'Lord's Seat' which was 1800ft. It was sooooo windy but soooo fun because you literally got blown anywhere randomly! Woooooooooo! We then cascaded (!) down from that and walked through some more bog. (Trust me we had walked through loads). Then we walked through heather and got to the summit of 'Ullister Hill' which 'takes you by surprise'! It was 1700ft. 

Finally we could start going down. It took ages and when we got to a forest we ate hotdogs. Vatti took a long time deciding where we would sit. Honestly, we didn't mind where we put our bums. Maybe his needs special care. 

We did some more walking. And some more. And more. We walked for a bit longer. Oh! And then we started hopping! No, I'm joking. It was just more walking with the odd burst of running. 

Then we got a bit lost when we cut across a bit of grass. With piles of dead tree on it. Oh well, we eventually found our way into the village called Thornthwaite. We walked round the bottom of the mountains for a bit and then we saw the car. Me and my brother did our '1,2,3, touch the car' thingy and then we collapsed into it. We had been walking (and resting) for 4 1/2 hours. Fun fun. 

When we got back to the YH we did some stuff like playing pool. For tea I had beef stew, fruit juice and apple crumble with custard. Yum. 

Me and mum played pool and another game and then I finished my new book 'Luurve is a many trousered thing'. The next one is called 'Stop in the name of Pants!' Vair vair funny. Out in July 2008. Boo hoo. 3 whole months away. 

Vatti is in bed with NO boxers on. How ridiculous. I may need counselling. What if someone wakes up in the night? What if there is a fire and he goes off blundering downstairs? Oh help. 

Moving swiftly on... 

P.S. I can't be bothered to do APRIL FOOLS"

Wow. I genuinely remember thinking I was being so funny when I wrote this. Day 3 to follow shortly for anyone who's interested!

Fancy a laugh?  You're in luck- I've dug out some of my old diaries...

Get ready for some real comic genius... 

"Monday 31st March 2008- We woke up at the crack of dawn (actually 6.35). Had some Frosties as a breakfast treat. Oo-er! I had had a dream about Vicky getting back from Florida with only a tanned nose and her whole family were ill. Because there was something wrong with the sand or something. Anyway, moving swiftly on. 

We had a cooked breakfast at The Little Chef and carried on driving. We knew we were in the Lake District because of the sheep. Not. After about 55 billion hours of non-stop deafening myself with music (well actually 5) we were nearly there. Then we thought Vati had farted but it turned out to be something else. Perhaps a sheep, who had eaten beans for brekkie. 

Anyway.... When we arrived at Aero Force Falls (well it was actually called Aira Force Falls for some stupid reason. It should be called Aero because then there would hopefully be a law that all people had to eat Aero bars). We got into our walking boots. Yey. How very flattering. Not. 

We walked up past 3 big elephants always use talc in forests under leaves waterfalls. It was vair hot and my trousers were very thick and sad. I sorted out my t-shirt so everyone could see my flat (not) stomach and dipped my tootsies in the water. Woop-de-doop. 

We eventually got to Duckray which was, if you like, the top of the circular walk. Then we walked all the way back on the other side of the waterfalls. I worked out how to zoom on mutti's camera phone (they forgot to pack the decent ones, honestly). It was simple technology. Press the arrow labelled zoom. No it wasn't labelled zoom, but hey. 

When we got back to the car, after 2 hours, we had some snacklets, lunch, and drove to Keswick. The parents were on the hunt for new boots for me because my toes were getting squished but I said it was fine. Really, it was. We had scrummy-yummy ice cream and went shopping in Booths. Fun fun. 

We then drove to our youth hostel. Called Barrow House, aka Derwent Water Youth Hostel. Did some fun stuff and me and my brother (betta pick a pocket or two! How random) went round the back (that reminded me of Jesus' Christmas Party when the inkeeper goes 'Round the back!') to the waterfall. We got stuck on one side of the river but ho-hum-mum's-bum. 

For tea I had bolognaise, chips and peas. As you can see I am vair vair healthy. For dessert (not desert) I had ginger cake with custard. C'est tres bon. 

Now I'm in room 9. Yey. Dad is lying in his boxers (I think I am going to call the police, I mean it must be against the law) and the other two are in bed as well. 

I will never sleep again, I am not tired zzzzzzzzzz." 

Don't be too hard on me, I was a 12 year-old who had lead a very sheltered life. I hope that this first entry provided you with some light entertainment! The next instalment is to follow in the next few days!